that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
FUCK WHALES
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
