I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
