WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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