We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize