how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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