Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So much rum. So many feels.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
