ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
