he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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