I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
