Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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