genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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