Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
