Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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