Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
