i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
