"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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