i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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