i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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