I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
