She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize