do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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