On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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