Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
