somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
