So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
