He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
