Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
