Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
