careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
