I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
