i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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