Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
