is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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