I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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