Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
