I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
