K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
