quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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