The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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