my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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