i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
