Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Farmville is her only friend.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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