Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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