okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
