He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Randomize
