we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
