I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
