Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
