I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
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