She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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