I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
