Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
