new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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