Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
