Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
