i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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