I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
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