I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
