I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
