bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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