I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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