I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize