FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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