there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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