i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
These tits shall not be calmed
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
