Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
