omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
