the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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