no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize